We have a house and yard full of dogs. Number Three came in August, a rescue like numbers One and Two. Now I know that three is one too many for me. I also now know that it’s way too late for me to do anything about it.
Crap collects at quite a clip when there are three dogs contributing to the collection. For some reason my dogs like dumping right off the patio. That way, when I’m sitting on the sun deck, the stench is overpowering. So I police the yard for poop several times a week. I transfer the turds to the very back of the yard in hopes the dogs will take the hint and start shitting back there. The project has been going on for about a month. So far, though, they aren’t going for it.
Anyway, I did the poop patrol a few days ago. Then, a few minutes later as I sat in my chair trying to enjoy a Sudoku and some DirecTV, I kept smelling dog shit. Instinctively I checked my slippers, even though I wear a special pair of dog shit shoes when on poop patrol. Next I suspected one of the beasts was farting. I ruled that out pretty quick. I can differentiate between dog shit and dog gas. After about 30 minutes the stink was really irritating me. Then, on the back of one of the legs of my jeans, I found the culprit. I still don’t know how it got there, but there was dog shit all over my pants!
To make a long story shorter, that was several days ago, and I’m still smelling dog shit when I sit in my chair, and I really like sitting in my chair! I’ve been over it with a fine tooth comb. I’ve moved it to see if there was fecal matter beneath. I’ve sniffed the damn thing from top to bottom. Nothing. Then, just when I’ve put the whole terrible episode behind me, the shit smell looms into my nostrils yet again. Shit!
